


Welcome to the Adults turned into kids because ‘Plot’ Club!

by MissCellophane



Series: Random Ideas I Had [7]
Category: Family Guy (Cartoon), Katekyou Hitman Reborn!, The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV), 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Crack, Crack Crossover, Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Gen, I found this idea way too funny not to write, I know Shinichi is technically a teen still in his series, If people still can't figure out who the cameos are even though I tagged where they were from..., Just pure crack, Lots of drinking, Meta, No Plot/Plotless, Random & Short, Self-aware characters, Shinichi and Five need someone to talk to, Spoilers, They are at a bar, Underage Drinking, are so weird, but Detective Conan has been running for over twenty years so he's an adult in my mind, did I already mention this was crack?, do i need anymore tags?, guess i'm the first one then, is it really underage when they are technically older than twenty one?, its actually kinda easy, message me and I might tell you, nearly forgot, seriously how has no one written this yet?, should probably add, spoilers for the manga and tv show, surprise cameos near the end, the things I write while sleep deprived and sick, to be fair I was overheated and had a killer migraine when I wrote this, wonder how many people can get both?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-17 13:19:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18966034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissCellophane/pseuds/MissCellophane
Summary: Five and Conan/Shinichi share a shot for “Adults who got turned into kids because ‘Plot’ “.Or Five and Conan/Shinichi connect on being adults in kids bodies.





	Welcome to the Adults turned into kids because ‘Plot’ Club!

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> I...honestly have no idea what this is. I wrote this on three hours of sleep, a huge migraine and while a little overheated/sore from carrying boxing down like three sets of stairs for hours out in the sun (I was helping my sister pack).
> 
> So yeah, perfect combo am I right? I'm gonna go pass out for a couple hours now. 
> 
>  
> 
> p.s I might edit this when I wake up but I honestly don't know what I would add to it. If I got anything wrong blame it on me being sick.

Five glanced over as a little kid sat down next to him at the counter.

“You too?” He asked before taking a big swig of his three part rum one part soda.

A brunette head nodded sadly “I still have a hard time believing it.” 

Five hummed “Yeah. I definitely know the feeling. I’m Five.”

“Conan or rather Shinichi.”

Blue eyes then glanced up from behind giant glasses that made him look even younger and smaller than he was “How?” 

Five smiled grimly “A mistake on my part. I was suppose to return to the day I left but I miscalculated. You?”

“I eavesdropped on a drug deal and got caught. One of the men forced a pill into my mouth that was supposed to kill me but-“ he waved his hand over himself pointedly.

Five nodded “I’m sure if the plot didn't require it I would have gotten back fine or at least be in my thirty year old body instead of this mess.”

“And if the plot didn’t require it I would be dead or at least severely injured by most of what I have done.”

Five nodded in agreement “Yeah! And maybe if I hadn’t gotten drunk I would have seen the message about Klaus and could have saved him  and had the chance to steal the suitcase!”

Shinichi nodded rapidly “And if plot didn’t require it Ran most likely would have figured me out in two episodes.”

Five waved his head over to the bar man “Two shots for plot devices!”

“Make it a double for Plot holes!” Shinichi added.

The bar man slid two shot glasses over to them. They barely wasted a second before they were throwing the shots back.

“Woo! Fucking Plot holes everywhere!” Five exclaimed as he slammed his glass on the counter.

“And poorly written ideas. Who had thought it made sense for a little kid to run into at least five murders a day and not have been sent to a psychiatrist?”

“Probably the same people who thought it made sense for all of us to forget Klaus could talk to the dead?”

“Hattori even calls me Kudo all the time! And he sucks at lying! How has at least Hakuba not figured it out?”

“How did Luther live on the moon for four years without it messing with his body? Or better yet why does he have a gorillas body in the comics!? How!? That is not even anatomically possible!” Five shouted in disbelief.

“Oh you think that doesn’t make sense? How about the fact that Kaito kid does things that should not be physically possible without using actual magic? And why didn’t they just give him real magic when it clearly exists?” Shinichi huffed before leaning over the counter and grabbing a bottle of vodka. He set it on the counter and opened it before tossing the cap behind him and taking a long chug straight from the bottle.

“I wanna know what actually happened to Ben? Why do they have to make it so mysterious? Were we all there or was it off screen?” Five leaned over the bar himself and grabbed the tequila. He took a shot then another right afterwards.

“Ha! My manga has been dragging on the mystery of the black organization for years! And I still can't figure out who the one-eyed man is!”

“At least you had some idea on who you had to fight. All those years I had with the commission and I couldn’t figure out it was my own sister the whole time!”

“You think that’s bad.” A voice called from the corner of the bar. The two boys(men) looked over to see a baby in a high chair.

“I’ve been a toddler for nearly twenty years.” the baby said before taking a long drag of his cigar.

“I’ve been a baby for over thirty.” A squeaky voice cut in. 

They all turned to see another baby sitting on the counter near the end of the bar with a whisky on ice in his hands. He tilted his fedora with an annoyed glare. The little green chameleon on his hat opened one eye and looked them over before going back to sleep as the baby added “And for some reason every one falls for my ridiculous costumes every time! I look like a baby and people still fall for my professor costume all the time!” He huffed “I’m surrounded by idiots.”

Shinichi and Five looked briefly startled by the interruption.

“Well. Our lives suck.” Five eventually sighed, he raised his drink “To adults stuck like kids!”

Shinichi snorted but raised his glass “To mistakes in important calculations.”

“To being a baby because 'Plot'!” The baby added holding up his cigar.

The one in the fedora raised his glass too “To being _turned_ into a baby because 'Plot'!”

"To Plot holes and Plot devices!"

The four took their shots in unison.


End file.
